The Sardine Wars

I would personally like to invite all of you to join in the sardine wars that are occurring in my office. Classic Court, my assistant from England who only speaks the Queen's english is the head commander and attacker in the Sardine Wars! They have been occurring since she was hired about 6 years ago. I think the office is loosing the battle and I know that I am being defeated! My gas mask and environmental suit has been infiltrated many a day!

Classic Court loves sardines. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that until you bring your cans of smelly, stinky sardines and eat them at your desk. At your DESK! I say....not in the employee break room, but at your desk. And not just every blue moon, but several times a week! Classic Court stinks up the whole office with just one can. Maybe the smell would be lessened if she threw the cans in the breakroom trash can. But NO!!!!!! Not Classic Court. She has to leave the smelly fishy cans in the trashcan under her desk so, we have the smell of sardines permeating the afternoon air until we leave the office.

She has been told, scorned, yelled at, made ugly faces at, corrected about eating sardines at her desk but it falls on deaf ears. She has made the effort to rinse the cans with water in the ladies bathroom so that most of the fish smell is gone before throwing them in her trashcan. That has helped but what is it with the English and sardines? Why does she love them so? And then takes great english pride in eating them, defiantly at her desk?

I like sardines too but I do not eat them at work. Having been around my USA southern roots for a time, I know all about the sardine. It can be a staple at every meal. I have eaten them all sorts of ways. For example, grits and sardines for breakfast and cheese grits and sardines. Sardine and mayo sandwiches for lunch as well as grilled cheese and sardine sandwiches. For snacks let's not forget about sardines and crackers, or sardines straight out of the can. I love sardines but I would never eat them at work.

Can employees be fired for eating sardines at work in an inappropriate area? Can we impose no sardine bans or no sadine areas like we have done for smokers? What can I do with Classic Court? Her best come back is that she says she is euro trash and she will eat her sardines when she likes. She thinks it is funny I guess but the office is sick of "Eau de Sardine" assaulting our nostriles in the afternoons.

Help! Our office is loosing the Sardine War! The English are winning!

Sardine Pudding: Guess what we are having for dinner tonight? You try it too!
Sardine Stuffed Devil Eggs: For your next party!
Sardine Museum Explodes: Damn! How will I get to see it now?
Eurotrash: The only word missing from this definition is "Classic Court!"
Posters offend some smelly Europeans: Please!

What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~