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Sunday, September 05, 2004

Death of a Shoe!

Death of a Shoe! Posted by Hello

Zoe's: June 2003-September 2004

The Zoe's were a beloved pair of shoes purchased last summer for a summer party. They were the perfect summer party shoe. They were gold with clear 2 inch heels, trimmed with three diamond rhinestone buttons on the front for decoration. They were versatile and dressed up summer dresses to semi formal in 2 seconds flat!

The right foot met an early demise last week when I wore them to work. Unbeknownst to me, I got out of the car and entered the office building and all was okay. Or so it seemed. At lunch, I noticed there was a problem. I noticed that when I exited the front door and stepped on the marble tiles, my right foot had a slide all its own. Something was dreadfully wrong with my right Zoe. The heel was missing. That two inches of black that was the buffer between the ground and the clear heel was missing. I tip toed to my car and got in. There was the heel under the gas petal. I knew I could fix it.

I took off my Zoe and tried to snap the heel back on. The clear plastic heel had 2 plastic prongs that fit snuggly into 2 black holes in the heel. Well, because I had been walking on carpet all day, I knew nothing was wrong, but the entire time I took a step, I was slowing killing my right Zoe. The 2 clear plastic prongs were now smashed flat, never to fit into the black heel ever again.

I was distraught! The left Zoe was even more distraught. She had lost her life mate forever. It was a sad moment in the heat of the car and all time stood still. I knew I had to go home and take them off, never to be worn again.

The Zoe's lived a full and robust life. The did not live out their full life cycle of a shoe, but they did great things with the time they had. The Zoe's leave behind their immediate family: 9 pairs of other summer sandals. They also leave behind an entire closet full of cousins, aunts and uncles in the form of 43 pairs of pumps, heels, boots, assorted athletic shoes and slippers.


Funeral Services will be held Monday, 11:00AM

at the

Church of the Holy Shoe Tree.

The Holy Reverend Pump Heeled Shoe will officiate.

Final resting place will be a lined shoe box

delicately place in the kitchen trashcan.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations in the form of Kiwi shoe polish

to the immediate and distant family.

Do you know what the Life Cycle of a Shoe is? If not read here!

2 Broken Heels:

Gob said...

That was a very moving tale!
Alas! Zoe dear, you live no more
Why did I ever go past the office door?

Your heel broke so, and you lost your will
I remember you, as I gaze out the window sill

Your rhinestones reflect in my thoughts
Speckled fine with tiny golden dots

Here's my ode to you, may you find a cherished home
Grace the dainty feet of a Goddess in heaven's Rome!

herryp said...

Atkins "Nightmare" Diet
When Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution was first published, the President of the American College of Nutrition said, "Of all the bizarre diets that have been proposed in the last 50 years, this is the most dangerous to the public if followed for any length of time."[1]

When the chief health officer for the State of Maryland,[2] was asked "What's wrong with the Atkins Diet?" He replied "What's wrong with... taking an overdose of sleeping pills? You are placing your body in jeopardy." He continued "Although you can lose weight on these nutritionally unsound diets, you do so at the risk of your health and even your life."[3]

The Chair of Harvard's nutrition department went on record before a 1973 U.S. Senate Select Committee investigating fad diets: "The Atkins Diet is nonsense... Any book that recommends unlimited amounts of meat, butter, and eggs, as this one does, in my opinion is dangerous. The author who makes the suggestion is guilty of malpractice."[4]

The Chair of the American Medical Association's Council on Food and Nutrition testified before the Senate Subcommittee as to why the AMA felt they had to formally publish an official condemnation of the Atkins Diet: "A careful scientific appraisal was carried out by several council and staff members, aided by outside consultants. It became apparent that the [Atkins] diet as recommended poses a serious threat to health."[5]
The warnings from medical authorities continue to this day. "People need to wake up to the reality," former U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop writes, that the Atkins Diet is "unhealthy and can be dangerous."[6]