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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

The Evils of HipHop Shoes Continued!

The second visit to the mall, I considered myself ready. I was going to demand a compenent clerk and if the one I had before was there, I was not going to let him help me. I walked in and it was a busy Saturday this time. The first time I went when traffic in the store was slow. I went straight to the wall of Baby Phat shoes and waited. I looked around and waited. I waited some more. I looked around at the patrons and most everyone looked like they just stepped out of a rap music video. Baggy jeans, big athletic shirts and big chains. They were in stark contrast to me in my khakhi capries, sandals and coach bag. But that was okay. Most of the people were young people...teens and young adults. Finally I went to the desk and asked for help and was told that they would get someone to help me.

I went back to the wall and sat down on a bench. I looked around and thought that sloppy clothes was not a fashion statement and if dirty Fila came to me wanting some sort of hip hop clothes for girls she could just forget it. And excuse me but proper english is the norm for me. What is up with dropping all "t's" in a word so that, for example, Martin becomes Mar-in and cotton becomes co--on and water becomes wa-er????? As I sat there and looked around, it became apparent that some of the young people were looking at me.

It became crystal clear what was happening. My geek, non hip hop, uncool, non "t" dropping magnet that was permanently fixated in the exact center of my forehead had begun to glow. Brightly! I must have had a look on my face that I was not aware of, that I was in disapproval. I looked away and finally the clerk came.

I asked him to tell me about the Air Force ones. What were they all about? He looked at me like I was crazy. Like I should know. I asked him if I looked like I would know about hip hop? He said no and smiled. I told him I was not into these shoes but my child was and before I got shoes that cost $149, named after a rap/hip hop star, I wanted to know what the fascination was all about. He said that on the first Saturday of each month a new pair/model/style was released and people lined up at the mall at 5am before the mall opened to get these shoes. I just looked at him.

~blank stare for quite a while~

I asked him to shoe me a pair. He bought out some plain white tennis shoes. I asked how would anyone know these were AF1's. He said that the label would tell me. I looked at the shoes and saw a very, very, very , very small....did I forget to say VERY small tag... that said "AF1" near the shoe tongue. When the shoes were laced up you would not be able to see that.

"FORGET it! ", I thought to myself. Maybe if I could see a big "AF1" somewhere, but they looked like a pair of plain white tennis shoes that cost $149 and was named after Nelly and his rap song "air force ones." DAMN! He was singing about tennis shoes and not the president's plane!

I then asked him about baby phat shoes in 8.5. He went back and looked and found nothing ni that size that was on sale. They still did have the non sale pairs that they just got in for fall. I just could not bring myself to spend that much money on tennis shoes that would be used for play and would get dirty. Dress shoes--no problem. I have paid well over $150 for a pair of shoes I had to have. Dress shoes can last years. Tennis shoes have to be replaced at least once a year for an active child.

I decided to wait. Wait, wait wait! I would again talk to dirty Fila about those shoes again and see if she really just had to have those shoes. With that, I turned around and with my geek, non hiphop, uncool, non "T"dropping forehead magnet that was still glowing, left the land of ghetto fabulousness.

The evil shoes of hiphop had won! I had lost the battle that day, but I do not think, I have yet lost the war! Next time, I will bring the holy water and beach music to defeat the evil shoes of hiphop!

What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~

3 Broken Heels:

Gob said...

That made for an absolutely fun narrative!
The "glowing magnet" part is hilarious! *LOL*
I'm so glad I came to know the "Secret Life Of Shoes"!The Secret life of shoes
If you don't read it, you lose!
A little sparkling wit
Impossible to quit!
Finding fun in the blues
Colouring it with jazzy hues!

Tinker said...

Thank you gob! I really appreciate that! Great poetry as well!
Tinker! :)

shoe stretchers said...

If you were going to buy a golf club, you wouldn't walk into a store and buy the first one you see, would you? Of course not; especially if you want to improve your golf game! You'll want to hold the club, take some practice swings, hit some balls if the store has a practice spot, and look at the price, of course. If you are considering buying running shoes, you need to go through a similar process and take the time to find the perfect shoe.