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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Shoes of Familiarity

As I sat in a long, semi-boring meeting today, I looked around and scoped out eveyones shoes. How was I able to that without putting my head under the table? We had no table. In an effort to think outside the box, the meeting facilitators made us all sit "in the round" about 3 feet away from each other, in an attempt to be informal and to make the meeting more of us sitting around and have a chat with each other! NOT!

There were 18 people in attendance and most of the shoes matched the personality of the wearer. Some shoes were decidedly odd and seemed very out of place. The breakdown was as follows:

Wingtips- 2 pairs , black and brown. These fit both the wears. Set in their ways, conservative. They never rock the boat.

Sandal thongs- 1 pair, worn by a woman who thinks she is better looking than she is, all due to "good hair."

Sperry topsider boat shoes: 2 pairs. It was a dress casual day in the office, so those preppy shoes fit in. (I was wearing one of the 2 pair.)

Man Crocs: OOOOHHHH! This was a surprise! I had to take a double take. To this date I have only seen women in my office wear those crazy plastic shoes. I have never seen a man wear them. His were taupe. He is not the earthy type so why he was wearing those, I just cannot imagine. I still think about those man crocs in amazing.

Black strappy summer sandals: There were 4 pairs of these. These ladies are just run of the mill. Nothing ever special about their dress or fashion. Black sandals go with anything so I would consider these woman safe. Predictable.

Clear plastic "foo foo" shoes. Now the lady wearing these is high end prep. Tennis club, gold, sailing. She has at least 5 cars. A convertible, and 4 different SUV's.

Old dirty filas: time for some new shoes!

New white sneakers: you just got rid of your old dirty filas!

Leather shoes: a pair of oxfords and a pair of plain leather ones. Safe, boring. These men are family men.

Cheap slides: these look very Payless to me. Enough said.

Hiking boots: Okay. The person wearing these is a freak of nature. He is the creepiest guy in the office and if you looked in the dictionary to look up serial killer, stalker, rapist, shooter...his picture would be there under each one of those words. . Everyone is freaked by him. All the women. He gives off an eerie vibe. He stares alot and does not speak. (Is that grave dirt I see on those soles?? ) Hiking boots are out of character for him. He is the nerd type, not the hiking boot type. Why was he wearing hiking boots? Who know who he was about to bury in the woods after work.

$2 walmart sandals multicolor: Now these were the absolutely worse pair of shoes I have seen! They were so cheap it was pitiful! How on earth could she wear those to work. Even walmart would be hard pressed to carry those. They were like a rainbow on white cloth! Now those fit with her. She is gaudy and garrish and has no fashion sense at all.

What did I get out of all that yada, yada, yada? Well, not much---the meeting was a review but I did get creeped out by the hiking boots! I learned that noone wears interesting shoes but me!

What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~

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