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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Open Toed Shoe Pledge

Spring has sprung and summer will soon be here. It is the annual reprinting of this pledge! It is time for all the ladies in all the world to take the Open Toed Shoe Pledge. Raise your BIG toes and repeat after me. Yes...it is MANDATORY! Come on repeat with me. Get those BIG toes UP!

I pledge to follow the following rules whenever I wear sandals or other open toed shoes!

  • I promise to wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
  • I will go polish free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
  • I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
  • I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
  • I will not wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, sister, tells me that the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
  • If a strap breaks, I won't duct tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get the shoes fixed or in the garbage they go!
  • I will not live in corn denial. I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
  • I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99, even if my feet are small enough to fit into a kids shoe. This is out of the concern and safety of others. Noone can safely walk in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take others down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
  • I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like vienna sausages.
  • If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soap, I will share that knowledge with the non-initiated.
  • I will brutally honest with the girlfreind, sister, coworker when she askes me if her feet are to ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that toes as long as fingers are scary.
  • I promise that if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure that they actually flip AND flop, making the correct noise while walking and I swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
  • I promise to go to my local beauty school once per season and have a real pedicure.
  • I will promise to throw away any white or off white sandals that show signs of wear...as nothing is tackier then dirty white sandals!

Even after taking this solemn pledge, I personally know some people WILL be looking like this all summer! Yikes!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com



What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~

8 Broken Heels:

Amy C. Martin said...

Haha...Thank you! Every woman should live by these rules! I especially don't get the wearing pantyhose with sandals thing... why???

Shelly said...

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http://www.weblog-index.com
Thanks, Shelly

Icy said...

Ohh, I so agree! The whole hanging off the front of the shoe, nasty. Love the site.

Kris said...

I love this post! As a Miami girl I have seen waay too many women with the toes hanging over. It's sooo sad...and sooo true.

Tinker said...

I have seen this to ..so many times. cute shoes that do not fit are NOT cute on!

Whitney said...

That picture is soo gross! I have never seen anyone do, that and I would've never imagined that people actually do it! On the other hand, I have a confession. I've never heard of foot soap! It sounds intriguing, though. Please fill me in!

Tinker said...

whitney....where have you been? it is sumnmertime fashion no-no. peopel doit all the time.. trying to wear shoes that are way too small just because they are cute!

Anonymous said...

Long, graceful toes hanging over shoes are hotttt. No one wants to see ugly, stubby Flintstone toes.