I lost my virginity today. I have waited a very long time. I went to the beach and it happened. No more was I pristine or, new, as in factory condition. I stepped into the water, almost got over my head and what can I say. It happened. I was swept up in the moment. The wind, the ocean breezes, the water.
Water lapped all around me and I knew I had been christened! I only went 1/2 way at first, but decided to go all the way. In I went. I walked into the ocean and got totally soaked! I must say I have never felt that way before. It was quite an experience! It was my first nautical experience.
My name is Sperry Topsider and today, Tinker wore me to the beach and jumped into the water with me on! I have never been wet before!
What did you think I was talking about? I am talking about shoes!
Shoes! Only shoe-ese is spoken here!
What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!