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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Scandalous Shoes! Just Scandalous!

Okay. I thought today that the secretarial pool was going to be turned into the WWE Secretarial SMACKDOWN! OMG. Never had I seen so many women in shoes snarling and fighting and trying to stab each other with high heels. It was vicious. A down right bruhaha!

Mini Witch Shoes was in rare form today. A little background on her shoes. She is the earthshoe wearing type and lives in clogs and berkenstocks. She left her desk and was talking to Skank Shoes. Now Mini Witch is very religious and is often the one trying to solicite people to go to church with her. That in itself is annoying as she is a jehovah witness and will break into some sort of testimony in a heartbeat. She tends to be very blunt and tells it like it is. I get along with her fairly well. She is always pleasant to me.

Skank Shoes started a few years ago and was totally wild in girl basically and was into all the men. Married, did not matter to her. What Skank Shoes was doing was doing all the men she could in the office. She was performing oral sex on some men in the office... often... and it got out. She does not see this as having sex. She is very hard to look at. Not attractive in any way. She has some sort of phsyical defect and her body is twisted and very oddly shaped..legs, arms, waist. She is mangled. Not her fault but she is very mangled.

Well Mini Witch was at Skank's desk and she must have smelled something. Mini Witch told me later after the big blow out what happened. They were talking and Mini Witch smelled something and to her it smelled like sex. She told Skank that she smelled like sex and that she was in a public place, around others and that she needed to have better hygeine. No that was not it ...I prettied that up for the blog. She told Skank that she needed to go to the store around the corner, buy a douche and go to the ladies room and use it. OMG! The shoe heels and claws came out.

Those two were yelling and screaming about sex , smelling and douching in the office. We all listened with our office doors opened. Mortified! The big boss was out of the office and I know the level of shouting would not have reached that level if she had been here.

Classic Court came in to see me and told me to go do something as the managers of those two pairs of shoes were out. I did not want to touch that with a 10 foot pole. I waited just a few more minutes to see if they would cease the madness. It continued. Finally I got up and approached Skank and Mini Witch. I told them that the yelling in the office had to stop and that they needed to go outside and discuss that situation. The men in the surrounding offices and some in the pods were peering at me and looking very nervous.

I told both of them this sounded like a personal matter that did not need to be discussed here in the office. They needed to take it outside...not the office door...but the office building to the parking lot and do not come back until whatever this was was over. I told them this matter was not to be discussed EVER again INSIDE this office. Then when they came back in , each of them needed to find their shoes, put them on and get back to work. It is year end. We have goals and numbers to meet and December 1st is next week.

Skank and Mini Witch both went outside, talked and came back about 30 minutes later. Mini Witch is upset and feels she did nothing wrong by telling Skank about her smelling. I told Mini Witch that hygene and smells can be an office/personnel issue better to be addressed by a manager. She understood but this was something she thougth a little different and that she would address herself. She said Skank does not smell everyday....just this day in particular and a few others.

I asked her to look at in put herself in Skank's shoes. How would she feel if someone just walked up to her and told her she smelled and needed to go douche? She said she would feel just fine and that if her deodorant failed and she had smelly pits and someone told her that..she would be fine also and would go buy some deodorant and use it in the ladies room. She said she would be grateful.

There was no way to get her to see that her words were the wrong thing to say. Of course she then began to spout bible verses at me.....cleanliness is next to godliness. That was all I needed to hear. I was out. I took my shoes and went back to my office and closed the door. I mentally dared Classic Court to come in and ask about the earlier din.

What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~

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