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Friday, September 01, 2006

Skort Wars

Last week......

I was minding my own business working away at my desk, when I got up to put a file away. The big boss was some ways down the hall behind me when I did this. I went back to my desk to work.

All of a sudden the silence in my office is marred by the sound of...

It is my old boss.
"Are you wearing shorts today?" She had an odd tone of surprise and disbelief in her voice.
"No. I have on a skort."
" Well the big boss wants you to go home and change clothes."
"No, I am not. This skort is a skort that I have worn for the past 4 years with no problems. I wear it off and on in the summer. Why is that a problem now?"
"I do not know, but she wants you to change. Maybe you should go speak to her about it."
"I will."

Well. The skort wars began that day. I marched my one panel skort into the big bosses office and asked if there was a problem with what I have on today. The big boss looked at me. My skort is a one panel skort withthe panel being in the front. It looks like a skirt in the front but there is a split in the back.

"Is that a skirt?"
"No, it is a skort."
Speaking in perfect corporate-ese, she began to tell me how my skort was bending the dress code and how the bigwigs from corporate are trying to spiff up our dress code as they think some of the offices are too casual...and I must have only seen you from the front since you are saying you have worn this skort for the past four years...yada yada yada!

(Note, when I wear my skort is is with heels and a jacket so it looks like a suit and I am not the only one in the office wearing skorts either.)

I had to jump in.
"Why is it ok for the goth people to come in here everyday with neon pink hair or purple or blue or orange so orange that color does not exist in nature? Why are you not saying something to them about their attire. They wear very wierd, black, goth clothes and odd, disturbing piercings everyday? Why is my skort not okay for looks like I have on a suit??!!"

"Well, the goth people are different." I just look at her.
"How? That look is not professional."
" Well, we have been up and down with the goth people about the hair and it has been decided that we cannot really do anything about the hair. What color hair is natural? What varied shade is not ok?"

(That sounded like an answer very corporate that said to me, leave the goths alone....they might file some sort of suit or grievence.) She went on.
" We really cannot do anything with those goths. It really is a life style with them and not so much wearing a different hair color."

I was beating a dead horse with that one. I could tell. She did say that the apprearance of the goths in the office had been discussed with them and that this was a professional office and that appearance did matter. They had been told that their appearance will prevent them from any sort of advancement regardless of how well they did and they were fine with that. They did not have any dealings with the public either.

She then said to me," you are more then welcome to come to work with bright neon blue hair just like the goths, but that will immediately result in a job change and career ceiling since you have a job that deals with the public."
"I do not want to come in here with blue or orange hair. I just seems ridiculous to jump all over me and suggest that I have to go home and change when it looks like I have on a suit with a bottom that is a skort, when we have the goth employees looking like freaks of nature everyday. How can you enforce a dress code with all the outlandish things they wear to work? I am well within the corporate guidelines. I am dressy, I have on a suit jacket. "

" Well, if your skort was a 2 panel skort and not a one panel skort there would be no problem. With a 2 panel skort, I could not see the rear split and it really would be more like a skirt."

" I will only wear my 2 panel skorts from now on when I do wear a skort. Can I work out the rest of the day in this and I will not wear this one again?"

"Yes, as long as you do not wear that one panel skort that is fine. You mentioned that others are wearing them as well. If you tell me who they are I will address them. Just send me an email when you notice that."

"No. I am not going to tell you when other employees are wearing skorts. I do not want to get into all of that."

I left the big bosses office backing up to leave so that she could not see the split in the back of my skort. I tried not to leave my office for the rest of the day for fear of some other person possible saying something about my skort. That was the end.

Until today. The office really is having a skort war. Finishing shoes called me to her cubical and told me that "busybee" was called into side room by her manager for wearing a 2 panel skort on tuesday. (Busybee is a relatively new employee who sees herself as "super employee." She does everything right. Or in her own mind thinks she does. Not!) Busybee was in the side room for some time and she was raked over the coals for her 2 panel skort. Now I was told that 2 panel was now what is the problem. Busybee tends to wear very short skirts and has been called into the office for her skirt length prior to this. She wears miniskirts. But very professional. She wears suits that have miniskirts. She looks good everyday. Her skirt is short but she looks good. Heels, scarfs, broaches...very professional.

I have seen her wear 2 panel skorts and they do look like skirts. Apparently she challenged her boss who was challenging her about her 2 panel skort. Her skort had 2 little vents on the side of the thigh. That was the only way you know it was a skort. I heard it was not a pretty scene with the manager running out of the sideroom saying she will have to check on whether a 2 panel skort is okay.

On yesterday the office got an email that we cannot wear carpri pants anymore. They were not acceptable. If the capri ended at the knee they deemed it shorts and not acceptable for work. The capri was acceptable if it came down over the knee. It could be worn.

I have a sneaky feeling that this reeks of the religious people in the office. We have quite a few bible toters in the office and they get offended from everything. (I tote a bible too , but not like some of the other people in the office--they are over the top!)

Me? I intend to wear a 2 panel skort next week. I am ready for battle. It 's gonna be Full Metal Skort up in there!

What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~

3 Broken Heels:

Digital Art Photography for Dummies said...

You go girl! Nice use of text and image.

Tinker said...

thank you!

Joann said...

Makes me glad that I get to wear jeans in my taxi.