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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Shuffling Shoes

You know when we get an email about a stand up meeting, things are happening behind the scenes that only the big wigs know about. We got that email yesterday for a standup meeint at 10am and boy are their changes. I have lost classic court. Who is that? ( Check out the cast of shoes on the right sidebar to see who is who.) Whenever changes are made we do not have any say. The big guy decides, the people who are involved are informed and it is done. Just like Yul Brenner in the Ten commandements. What was his famous line? so shall it be written, so shall it be done? That is what it is like in the office. Decrees come down from above.

Classic court was on vacation last week. She was cruising in the bahamas. Who knows when it was decided. Must have been when she came back on Monday as she was quiet all afternoon. I did not think anything of it. Just thought she was trying to get back into the swing of things. Well, the support staff plays musical chairs. They are moved around and around and around all the time. My division has had classic court for about 4 years. The bad thing is we are not getting a replacement. While classic court will be farting and eating sardines in another part of the building, we are left with one assistant. This one who is left seems to be a dull pair of scissors. I have not even ever looked at her shoes to see what sort she is wearing. I guess I will have to now!

I should have known something was wrong when I asked classic court about Camilla getting married and she said that she guessed it was okay as long as the boys were happy! Well, she has never had any love for Camilla before. That was odd! She must not have had enough PG Tips that day! I had about 2 cups that morning and was wired. There was nothing to say after the announcement as there was nothing I could do to change it! I wished her well. She was ready to try something new in a different department. She said she would continue to throw some eurotrash comments my way. I told her she better! It is her english duty!

Well the shuffle also puts some other shoes in places that are unexpected. Classic court is taking the place of a pair of shoes who has a hearing loss. She denies that she has a problem. She cannot hear you when you talk to her and she misunderstands everything. How she manages the phone I will never know. Have you ever seen the cartoon King of the Hill on Fox? Do you know who Boomhauer (he is on the left in sthis cartoon) is on the show? How he the worse southern redneck ever? That is what the woman with the hearing loss sounds like. Some people in the office call her Boomhauer behind her back. That is bad but it is funny and it is the truth...that is exactly how her speech is. She cannot help it.

Well, Boomhauer was moved to a key position that we are all amazed that she got. She had a position like that before and was moved because her hearing did not let her do a good job. Now she is back with that in another division. God help them in that division ! They are going to need it. Noone can believe she was moved there. Again!

Finishing shoes and I can't believe it. We are both mad because our division is the one most responsible for goals for the entire office. All hinges on us and we are now down 1 person. Down one really good person and all we have left is a dull pair of scissors. (I bet her heels are rundown! Is that evil of me?) She will have double the work. This is the transition week. All begins anew next week.

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Wannabe shoes has started a walking club of sorts. She is always trying to recruit people to walk with her for 15 minutes in the morning and again in the afternoon. They do fast walking to get in close to a mile. She even got finishing shoes to go a few times. She flounces around the cubicles asking people if they can tell if she lost any weight yet. I am not sure but it will take a long time just walking for 15 minutes at a time, 2 times a day. Now maybe an hour each day at the gym over months will make a difference. This she just began about 2 weeks ago. She looks the same to me. She was bending at the copier to put more paper in the tray and that bend produced a big wad of stomach fat doubled over. After seeing that, I do not think she lost anything in 2 weeks. But, with consistency, those love handles will be lost! She has a bad case of dunlap disease! Much worse than me!

Wingtips is having touble with his knees. Due to weight I suspect. He is not fat but is a hunky guy. His wife says he is growing in the wrong direction...out instead of up! He is funny. The doctor says he needs to loose 30 pounds. He has a moderation problem. He loves candy. For example I may have a jar of Hershey's kisses on my desk in a jar for all to get one or two. He will be in my desk every 10 minutes to get a handful and within 2 hours the entire jar is gone. He is addicted to sour Skittles. He wife rations him 10 in his lunch each day. What does he do at lunch? Goes to Walmart and buys a large bag every single day and eats all of it at one time at lunch. I mean all of it! The whole bag! Does he tell the wife? No! And he swears me to secrecy as well. I must not tell her either! He is tasting the Skittle rainbow every single day!

Skank shoes has been keeping a low profile. After the WWE Smackdown she almost started in the office, I hardly hear a peep out of her!

Oh the joys of working. These shoes are just trying to keep up!

What I do is kick them in the pants with a diamond buckled shoe!
~~Aileen Mehle~~

4 Broken Heels:

Unadulterated Underdog said...

Shoes certainly get around. I had a pair of shoes that went to Europe twice, two 9 different states and two different universities before I finally had to part with them. I have a backpack of similar stamina now. It's amazing how attached I get to these faithful items.

2Vamp said...

I lost weight walking. BUT i averaged a 90 minute walk every evening. so yes, 15 min twice a day won't really cut it :o

thanks for popping by! happy to return the favour!


Tinker said...

you are right okdemocrat. i hate to throw things away until the last bit of life is gone out of them.

Tinker said...

2vamp: i think i will have to mention that 15 minutes is not going to do it!